Posted: August 28, 2011
Hello everybody :)
Anne, perhaps I look in pain because I am? on a serious note....when I play I am 'not' confident AT ALL, in my head there is constant thoughts of 'I can't play this well', 'I am going to play this out of tune', 'I am going to play this run uneven', 'it's going to sound shaky', 'it will sound overall quite horrible', 'oooh listen to that, that note was quite off, that bow was quite squeaky', 'will I be able to do the next shift cleanly enough?', 'will I hit Fsharp too sharp?' and on and on and on and on. Therefore I think this transpires in my look, my face in turns will always look quite serious and if I hear anything I don't like in what I play I will 'screw my face', I used to 'screw it' quite a lot and I am learning to control it but 'alas', although I am getting better, I STILL do it! Guess it will take LONG TIME AND A LOT OF EFFORT to improve that aspect!!!
So even though I think I am now better in the way that I finally no longer believe I am totally useless on the violin, I 'STILL' have to improve quite a lot on my 'pshyche' unfortunately :'( and this is HOLDING ME BACK A LOT in my progress too, I am convinced that if it wasn't for this I'd be progressing much better!
It is NOT good to practice/play and tell yourself 'you will make a mistake', you only teach your brain to believe you will and then you WILL do it!
Enough of that now....
As for the rest, thank you everyone, these are all things I have addressed with my teacher already. Beth, just the things you mentioned, hehehehe my teacher picked me on that already, not on this piece as I have not done this piece with him at all! I have done this piece all by myself, he doesn't even know I have looked at it as he's been on holiday for the past 6 weeks! But he has pointed out to me in other pieces the exact same thing you have about the rhythm, that I hold onto the 1st note a little too long LOL
And yes, my control at the frog is not as good as at the tip, I knew/felt this already, but that is my fault as I have not done the exercises my teacher 'prescribed' in a very long time (one of them would be to do kreutzer 2 with bow variations, he wants me to do it with tip only then middle of bow only then frog end only, with different types of slurs: first slur 2 notes and 2 notes detached then 1st detached 2 middle slurred last detached and finally first 2 detached and last 2 slurred, then first 3 slurred last detached and then first 3 slurred and last detached, of course also all of them all detached and all slurred, all combinations LOL).
Many people tell me fast pieces are easier but I am sorry to disagree...in 'my case anyway' (and my teacher agrees with me), I find slow pieces much easier. Ok, here you can say: 'But look Jo, you can't play the slow pieces well, see how difficult they are???' and you are right, I can't play them well! But you have not seen me/heard me trying to learn a fast piece have you?? I struggle A LOT MORE!! I still have NOT been able to achieve ONE fast piece yet! Ok, you can play them a little slower, but I can't even achieve a pace acceptable enough! My teacher knows my 'strong point' is slow pieces so now he is giving me a 'diet' of fast pieces, he does not want to do slow pieces with me!! if he knows I've spent time on the Melodie and Sarasate Playera he'll get mad at me as I was supposed to practice Summer from the Four Seasons (which I can only play at 50% of the speed :( and Allemande from Solo Bach (which is actually not fast but we have just started it before he went on holiday! and I have only done it twice in the 6 weeks he's been away LOL)